The logic of operant learning feels wonderfully comfortable and overwhelmingly challenging. The comfort comes from control. The predictable nature of reinforcing behavior for a desired result is empowering. I can develop a plan, wait for my anticipated behavior to peek out from under the depths of behavioral challenges, and then pounce on that behavior with the ideal reinforcement. Easy, peasy...right?! All of my interpersonal and professional difficulties solved!
Except for the challenges, not the least of which includes the serious bruise that can come to one's ego. The steely nerves required to ignore some of the most challenging behaviors cannot go without respectful appreciation. While I love to try to control others, controlling myself is too much to ask, especially when a small child who should just see me as the authority figure is not submitting to my requests. Why don't they know that obeying me and conforming is what is good for them?! The logic of operant learning competes with the emotional human experience.
Unless I want to be limited by my natural inclinations, my best bet is to learn through unconditioning myself. If I am committed to the concept of operant learning, then I need to be committed to careful responses to the behaviors occurring around me so that I don't inadvertently reinforce something that I really don't want to. I need to unpair my reactions from the behaviors. I can only imagine that this takes a very unnatural degree of patience and resolve that I am yet not sure that I possess. At least not in the most difficult circumstances. Indeed, when I was faced with parenting a child in my foster care who had ODD and RAD, I resolved and committed daily, maybe even minutely, to only reinforce behavior that was desirable. And daily...yes, minutely at times...I failed.
Perplexed but motivated...and certainly not curious...I anticipate learning more and hope to uncondition myself all the while.
No comments:
Post a Comment