Where does belief come from and how to change it?

I wish to know how to transform people's belief for a very long time since I couldn't understand some decisions and behaviors of my mom，such as she would insist on washing every plastic bag in my dormitory. I questioned a lot why she couldn't stand in other people's shoes. But I started to understand her when one of my friends told me that if I experienced what my mom's experiences, I would probably also act in the same way. Then I realized that to some extent, it is me who could not stand in her shoes also. This let me rethink that the relationship between experiences, beliefs, and self-reflection. From self-efficacy, I could see that value and belief come from external experiences to a large extent, just like the stimulations in behaviorism. But in social cognitive perspective, people have a chance to self-reflect on their own behaviors and make some changes so as to better adapt into the environment, which makes humans distinguish from lots of animals. But the question is where does the reflection come from and why people build the willingness to change it?

Reflecting back to Loretta's kid who refuses to do math homework willingly, it might have many reasons in this scenario. To solve this problem, the first thing might be to figure out what kinds of belief that the kid holds as well as the underlying reasons. Let's imagine that the reason is due to the lack of successful experiences. Based on self-efficacy theory, it might need other people, such as parents and teachers, to create a successful environment for him. But is there any possibility for the kid himself to create successful experiences for himself? Since this question comes from what Robin said in her post this week that people tend to have stronger self-efficacy online. It seems that people have a different degree of control over their self-efficacy. One extreme is that self-efficacy entirely depends on external experiences exerted on them. Another extreme is that it comes from within through self-reflection and adaptivity in challenges. But the link between self-reflection and self-efficacy seems to be tricky. For kids, they may lack self-reflection, but they still have high self-efficacy on certain things even risky activities. But for adults who may develop more sophisticated self-reflection, they may quit trying new challenges so soon. For so many times, I've also heard from adults that I couldn't do that.. I don't believe I could do that ... It's interesting that children always tend to say I don't want do that... I don't like that... So I'm thinking the development and changes in humans' belief system in a life long run.